Skeevetastic Platinum Plastic

Right on the heels of my last post, yet another republican-of-some-importance has made the news for his skeevetastic achievements. Sen. Larry Craig was arrested for Lewd Conduct in the men's room of a Minnesota airport back in June. (NNDB.com) I don't recall hearing anything about it, do you? That's because he plead out to the lesser charge of Disorderly Conduct and paid a $500 fine in the hopes of keeping it as quiet as possible. The 10-day sentence was suspended.

According to the arresting officer, Craig repeatedly tried to get the plainclothes officer to engage in lewd contact by gesturing underneath the bathroom stall and brushing his shoe up against the officer's shoe. Contrast this with another recent incident which is skeevy in the extreme: Florida state GOP Rep Robert Allen was arrested for offering a plainclothes officer $20 and a bj. His excuse? "This was a pretty stocky black guy, and there was nothing but other black guys around in the park," Allen, who is white, told police in a taped statement after his arrest. Allen said he feared he "was about to be a statistic" and would have said anything just to get away.[...]" (Orlando Sentinel) That's right folks, the Big Black Guys made him do it. Honest.
And freels, if you ever find yourself cornered by a bunch of black guys, I suggest you drop to your knees and make the same proposition.





I will likely never tire of this topic, (and it seems I will never run out of hot gossip to report) so I will be making Skeevetastic a regular column; at least as regularly as things like this happen.
Personally, I'm still waiting for Ted Haggard to go out and "reoffend".

It occurs to me, though, that these men are part of a disenfranchised, maligned, and oft-misunderstood minority-- Gay Ultraconservatives. I'm not talking Log Cabin Republicans. I mean those men who would vote or preach down anything that smacked of gay-affirming legislation without a second thought. Who are we to judge when these men, pillars of American virtue and the principles that make America great, want to get it on in public restrooms with complete strangers? We must defend their rights as skeevebags as fiercely as we defend the rights of free speech and "women's suffrage". I, for one, will take up the cause. Help me spearhead the campaign to support Ultra-homo-conservatives. They need, they DESERVE your help.